sonja | johnson

This page has been created to document all the troublesome things Dan says and/or does in my presence.  The “Grudge List” began after Dan accused me of “kicking his leg” under the booth table the last time we were out to eat together; however, Dan cannot recall if the “supposed” kicking actually occurred - thus it was just brought up to harass me (and depicts how long Dan holds grudges, even if it’s based off of a fictional event).  I, however, am terrible at holding a grudge and need a reminder list.  You’ve brought this on yourself, Dan…

• Dan brought over season 4 of Dexter, watched a few episodes and then left to visit another friend.  This act would not normally be grudge list worthy, but he left after a cliffhanger episode forcing me to wait in suspense until the next time he comes to visit (1.8.10).
• Last night I spent 2 hours putting up a Christmas tree for Dan’s upcoming holiday family gathering, and it wasn’t even lit up when I drove by this evening.  Boo (12.22.09).
• Dan continuously mocked my height (12.21.09).
• Dan got me in trouble with Carl (12.16.09).
• Dan did not come to my rescue when my car got stuck in the snow on his street.  Sure, Dan may argue he was unaware of my strife, but to that I say “I was only like 20 feet away.  You should have instinctively known I was in need of assistance!”  Grumble (12.9.09).
• Mike and I went over for a tour of Dan’s new house while he was there marking items (with blue tape) for the contractor to fix.  He proceeded to mark my forehead (11.11.09).
• Dan told Mike to take away my “new” laptop (09.22.09).
• Dan did not psychically anticipate which car I would use to run my errands and parked behind the vehicle I needed (08.24.09).

[Congratulations Dan, you've gone one month without incident (08.16.09).]

• After I spent hours landscaping, Dan insinuated one of my plants was crooked (7.16.09).
• When I requested Mike bring me my water glass, Dan encouraged him to dump out the water first (7.16.09).
• Sonja: “I think I burnt my arms.”
  Dan: “That’s nothing compared to your face.”
  Really Dan?  How dast you insinuate my face is anything less that perfect (6.18.09)!
• Dan created an anniversary for us, but didn’t bother getting me anything to commemorate the occasion (6.13.09).
• While house hunting Dan made a sarcastic comment about a pole in the basement and how I could utilize it to practice various… talents.  Though the comment was amusing, it was also made in front of a family with children (6.7.09).
• [Insert grievence from car ride to Iowa.]  As stated above, I’m not good at holding grudges, so I forgot what Dan said on our car ride - but I remember I wanted to put it on the list (6.4.09).
• Dan insinuated it would be terrible to be with me daily and he pity’s Mike (5.22.09).  Sad boosh.
• Dan insulted my driving (5.8.09).
• Dan went to see Star Trek in Mitchell the day before we planned to see it together in Sioux Falls (5.8.09).
• Dan called me a “dork” in front of everyone at the movie theatre (5.8.09).
• Dan attempted to give me swine flu (5.8.09).
• Dan was unwilling to assist me with a computer question until after I told him the item was going on the grudge list (5.7.09).
• Dan had the audacity to assume he had escaped the grudge list (5.7.09).
• Dan’s car shocked me (5.2.09).
• Dan made a disparaging comment about vegetables (5.2.09).
• Dan professed his love for me at Ruby Tuesdays, it was awkward (5.2.09).
• Addendum (contributed by Mr. O himself): Dan did not offer me a french fry (5.2.09).