So on Friday I got pulled over-

I was minding my own business, ipod on and earplugs in (my car is old and using an FM transmitter with my ipod is just unreliable) when I saw him.  Jesse the State Trooper.

State Trooper

The above isn’t him but I found this when I google image searched “iowa state trooper hat” because I do wish that I had one of those hats.  I would wear it everywhere.  Anyways…I slowed down but my young police protector turned on his lights anyways.

He approached me from the passenger side and asked me some questions -

Him: Hi.

Me: Hi.

Him: Did you know you were speeding?

Me: Yes.

Him: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Nope.

Him: You were in the sixties.

Me: Oops.

Him: License, registration, proof of insurance.

Me (handing him my license and registration): Umm…I know I have my proof of insurance here somewhere.

Him: What’s your mom’s name?

Me (wondering WTF?): Barb.

Silence and crickets as I fake look for my insurance card.  I know exactly where it is.  In my other wallet, sitting on my bookshelf, 2 hours away.

Me: Can I give you the insurance number from memory?

Him (incredulously): You know that?

Me(laughing): Nope.

Him: I’m going to need you to come back to my car.

And so we went, Jesse and I, back to his car.  He was gentle with me, offering me multiple warnings – speeding, no insurance card.  We discussed how radar guns work and the territory limits of a state trooper.  He called in to dispatch to get my record – at which time I admitted my most recent ticket (2005 – extreme speeding).  He laughed – apparently State Troopers laugh when they hear of your past transgressions.  The dispatch lady announced my weight aloud (Iowa ID’s no longer have your weight on them however).  I laughed to myself because the weight was a lie.  We talked about the Nebraska Cornhuskers and the Iowa Hawkeyes.  I dropped my bomb – “I’m in law school.”  He stiffened up and asked how I liked it.  I told him lawyers were a different bunch.  He agreed so I told him that maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with lawyers if he didn’t give so many questionable tickets.  This was after I had signed for my warning.  Apparently, I like to dig holes and be a bit of a smarta** yet Jesse the State Trooper just let me go on my way.

OH – I just proofread this and did another quick google search.


The actual photo of the man who pulled me over.  I love the internet.