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The Grudge List

This page has been created to document all the troublesome things Dan says and/or does in my presence.  The “Grudge List” began after Dan accused me of “kicking his leg” under the booth table the last time we were out to eat together; however, Dan cannot recall if the “supposed” kicking actually occurred – thus it was just brought up to harass me (and depicts how long Dan holds grudges, even if it’s based off of a fictional event).  I, however, am terrible at holding a grudge and need a reminder list.  You’ve brought this on yourself Daniel.

  • Dan talked smack about my lawn mower (6.9.11).
  • Dan ignored my Word With Friends game (6.7.11).
  • Dan tried to steal my soul with his camera (6.4.11).
  • I assisted Dan in decorating his guest bath and he did not express his glee on the Interwebs with a detailed blog post (5.1.11).
  • Dan has a vendetta against my ankles (1.22.11).
  • Dan encouraged Mike to toss his beard shavings on the bathroom counter.  Gross (1.14.11).
  • Dan decided to be hung over when he was supposed to take me out for my victory lunch (1.1.11).
  • Dan called me a vindictive bit** (sometime in December of 2010).
  • Dan started a distance challenge on Nike+ while I was sick.  Now I am 11 days behind and a free lunch for the victor hangs in the balance.  Convenient, eh (12.11.10)?
  • Dan said I can’t sing (12.10.10).

Congratulations on your 50th grudge!

  • Drove by Dan’s place tonight.  The tree wasn’t lit up, AGAIN (12.7.10).
  • Like last year, I spent several hours putting up Dan’s Christmas tree.  When I drove by, it wasn’t lit up, again (12.6.10).
  • I’m pretty sure I’m missing one here… (November 2010, probably).
  • Dan made a deaf guy step in gum (11.18.10).
  • Dan imaginary keyed my new car (11.5.10).
  • Dan manhandled my pickle (10.20.10).
  • Dan has never invited me over to watch The Little Mermaid (10.20.10).
  • Dan crushed my dreams of becoming a super model.  Apparently they don’t eat pizza (9.24.10).
  • Dan wore white after Labor Day (9.17.10).
  • Dan purchased a Droid X and became a snob (9.11.10).
  • Dan stopped wearing his Pickle Barrel Thursday shirt (9.2.10).
  • Dan stole my Lesbian Vampire Killers card (8.6.10).
  • Dan said I am a bowl full of jelly.  That makes me sad inside (8.1.10). :(
  • Dan was unable to provide me with dental floss (7.20.10).
  • Dan made a comment regarding how he must be “doing better,” as it’s been a few months since I’ve posted anything on The Grudge List.  In reality, I’ve meant to post 4 or 5 events, I just forget what they are before I get to my computer.  So, stop lying Dan (7.16.10).
  • Dan made fun of my blinking.  Who does that?  Seriously… (4.29.10).
  • Dan sat idly by while Justin mocked me at lunch.  Frick you, Dan (4.29.10).
  • After a couple of hours of coordinating our evening run, mind you, Dan made me stand outside in the cold while he looked for his Nike+ sensor (4.27.10).
  • *Gasp*  Dan swore on my blog (4.23.10).
  • Mike invited Dan to meet us for lunch, but (according to our interpretation) Dan was so appalled at the idea of dining with me that he didn’t even have the courtesy to reply to the invitation.  That is so passive aggressive Dan… (4.22.10).
  • Dan does not take my opinions of movies seriously.  He practically went into hysterics after I said Clash of the Titans was awesome. (4.5.10).
  • Dan mocked my mannerisms (4.5.10).
  • Dan, not so subtley, insinuated I was fat (4.5.10).
  • Dan locked me out of his car in the rain (4.5.10).
  • Dan brought over season 4 of Dexter, watched a few episodes and then left to visit another friend.  This act would not normally be grudge list worthy, but he left after a cliffhanger episode forcing me to wait in suspense until the next time he comes to visit (1.8.10).
  • Last night I spent 2 hours putting up a Christmas tree for Dan’s upcoming holiday family gathering, and it wasn’t even lit up when I drove by this evening.  Boo (12.22.09).
  • Dan continuously mocked my height (12.21.09).
  • After a lengthy debate between Avatar and Avatar 3D, Dan guilted Mike and I into seeing the 3D version.  Bad Dan.  Very bad Dan (12.20.09).
  • Dan got me in trouble with Carl (12.16.09).
  • Dan did not come to my rescue when my car got stuck in the snow on his street.  Sure, Dan may argue he was unaware of my strife, but to that I say “I was only like 20 feet away.  You should have instinctively known I was in need of assistance!”  Grumble (12.9.09).
  • Mike and I went over for a tour of Dan’s new house while he was there marking items (with blue tape) for the contractor to fix.  He proceeded to mark my forehead (11.11.09).
  • Dan told Mike to take away my “new” laptop (09.22.09).
  • Dan did not psychically anticipate which car I would use to run my errands and parked behind the vehicle I needed (08.24.09).

[Congratulations Dan, you've gone one month without incident (08.16.09).]

  • After I spent hours landscaping, Dan insinuated one of my plants was crooked (7.16.09).
  • When I requested Mike bring me my water glass, Dan encouraged him to dump out the water first (7.16.09).
  • Sonja: “I think I burnt my arms.”
    Dan: “That’s nothing compared to your face.”
    Really Dan?  How dast you insinuate my face is anything less that perfect (6.18.09)!
  • Dan created an anniversary for us, but didn’t bother getting me anything to commemorate the occasion (6.13.09).
  • While house hunting Dan made a sarcastic comment about a pole in the basement and how I could utilize it to practice various… talents.  Though the comment was amusing, it was also made in front of a family with children (6.7.09).
  • [Insert grievance from car ride to Iowa.]  As stated above, I’m not good at holding grudges, so I forgot what Dan said on our car ride - but I remember I wanted to put it on the list (6.4.09).
  • Dan insinuated it would be terrible to be with me daily and he pity’s Mike (5.22.09).  Sad boosh.
  • Dan insulted my driving (5.8.09).
  • Dan went to see Star Trek in Mitchell the day before we planned to see it together in Sioux Falls (5.8.09).
  • Dan called me a “dork” in front of everyone at the movie theatre (5.8.09).
  • Dan attempted to give me swine flu (5.8.09).
  • Dan was unwilling to assist me with a computer question until after I told him the item was going on the grudge list (5.7.09).
  • Dan had the audacity to assume he had escaped the grudge list (5.7.09).
  • Dan’s car shocked me (5.2.09).
  • Dan made a disparaging comment about vegetables (5.2.09).
  • Dan professed his love for me at Ruby Tuesdays, it was awkward (5.2.09). ;)
  • Addendum (contributed by Mr. O himself): Dan did not offer me a french fry (5.2.09).

19 Responses to “The Grudge List”

  1. Don’t forget that I failed to offer you a fry off of my plate on 5.2.09

  2. Wow you people are bored out east… looks like I need to make a run that way to brighten things up. And if my pathetic social life brightens things up, that’s just sad…

  3. My world has been turned upside down. :/

  4. Reverse chronological – it makes it easier to read any new additions. :)

  5. [...] been weeks since I posted. It never feels like it because I’m in the running log and checking my life achievements list almost every day of the [...]

  6. My sister and I just read this and laughed our asses off. Nice.

  7. i have just discovered this list and enjoy it much. but i have one comment – he insulted your driving… um… you really can’t add that to the grudge list. I mean, you drive like a grandma, Sonja. I’m sorry, but you do. You Are NOT A Grandma! quit driving like one! now, if you had amazing driving skills and he insulted you, then you could add it to the list. but the fact is, I think the entire town of Sioux Falls, could add Your driving to Their grudge list. mwahahaha :) But I still love you!!

  8. Psshhh.

  9. To be fair I think I got myself in trouble with Carl too.

  10. oh what the fuck.

  11. The first entry is about a french fry, the last entry is about blinking. What boring lives we must have.

  12. I think you mean the “latest” entry… :)

  13. touche’

  14. Hey now, your failures are not mine…

  15. Not true, I merely asked if you thought super models eat pizza.

  16. well super models aren’t short either…

  17. Libel.

    All I did was block the shot you were taking. You’d have probably missed anyway.

    Also who the hell spends 5 minutes nibbling at a piece of gum only to throw it away 3 minutes later.

  18. It can’t be libel when it’s true. He would have never stepped in the gum had you not intervened with the shot. AND, even if I had missed, which I doubt, it would not have landed by his chair.

  19. It’s been awhile since I checked in on the grudge list. I may or may not have cried laughing. I can’t decide if it was Dan manhandling the pickle, or Dan trying to steal your soul with a camera.

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